Yada Yada Yada

The best TV sitcom ever made is Seinfeld. Period.

If you disagree, you can either:

(1) leave this blog right now, or
(2) post your reasons why another show is better.

For those of you who agree with me and are looking for another time waster to add to your day, check out this Seinfeld blog. You'll find quotes, sound clips, a glossary, and more. For a listing of episodes and quotes from each, check out this site, too.

Oh, it's got cachet, baby! It's got cachet up the ying-yang!

Bless Their Hearts

Bless their hearts.

If I had a dollar for everytime I have received this picture from somebody, I would also have a dollar for every point Baylor scored against A&M last year.

(For those of you wondering what that would be, refer to my previous post.)

However, since I am in a lifelong process of practicing the act of extending mercy, let me be sure to add this -- an explanation of the photo take from an urban legends website.

(Hmmmm ... I wonder if there is "more to the story" behind every other Aggie joke?)

35-34

Time is running out to brag about this, so I need to milk it while I can.


Next week, I'll have to brag about this year's victory, instead!

My kinda gal

Here's my favorite quote from an on-line article about Houston returning to normalcy:

"I was without power yesterday for about five hours, but now that it's back on, I'm hungry and need some beef," said Yvette Gatling, a 34-year-old lawyer.

In second place:

The upscale Galleria mall was open. Armani's doors were closed, but J. Crew and Kate Spade did brisk business. Fast-food establishments started opening, too — and some had drive-thru lines that rivaled the gas stations.

I (heart) H-Town ... don't you?

Thanks, Ken

Thanks, Ken Hoffman. I couldn't have said it better myself: "A little disappointed, a lot relieved"

My most pressing question post-Rita: When will Channel 2 air all of the season premieres they bumped this week? I need to keep up with my stories!

Foraging For Food

As I type this, I'm hanging out with friends at Dinah and Laurie's place. Dave (my roommate) and I came over here around 4:00 this afternoon, primarily just because they had power and we didn't. Not that we're using our friends for some A/C ... actually, wait. That's exactly what we're doing.

But the group has grown to include Daniel, Kim, Shanna, and Clay. After a few hours of channel flipping and making fun of their other roommate's DVD collection, we decided to go out for dinner. (Seriously, Kristen ... the "Seventh Heaven" collection?)

Keep in mind that my heart had been set on dinner at the Steak Kountry Buffet. Not because I had ever eaten there or because it had a good reputation, but because I was sick of PB&J and the thought of a full buffet was too good to pass up. When we drove by it earlier, workers were removing plywood from the windows and one guy was spray-painting "Now Open" on one of the boards. As far as I knew, it was the only restaurant open in the greater Houston area and they were ready for me.

Dinner at Steak Kountry Buffet. Desparate times call for desparate measures.

But then Clay showed up and saved us. Like an angel sent from on high to announce the good news, he shared that the Luby's at Town & Country was open for business. Steak Kountry Buffet was moved back to where it belong -- on the blacklist of dining establishments. I feasted on fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans, rolls, and Coke -- cold Coke with ice.

I had gone about 5 or 6 hours without power and wimped out. I had fled to the shelter of a friend and became nearly delusional until there was a hot Luann Platter in my belly. My question yesterday about whether I was heroic or idiotic has been answered.

I am pathetic.

Heroic or Idiotic?

I never thought I would be that guy. The guy who refuses to evacuate.

Of course, since it's not mandatory for my neck of the woods, my defiance really isn't all that heroic (nor idiotic). However, with four large windows on my second floor looking right out into a large pecan tree, my dug-in heels may still prove to be one or the other -- heroic or idiotic. We'll see.

In the meantime, here are a few glimpses into my life pre-Rita:

• Not being able to sleep much last night due to an accidental nap after work and an addiction to the news, I decided to run errands around 3:00 am. Kroger reminded me of the grocery stores I saw in Moscow prior to the Wall coming down. My search for gas took me past no less than 6 stations that were sold out. I finally struck gold at the Diamond Shamrock at Westheimer and Montrose. There were only three cars in front of me in line. The first car appeared to be filled with twentysomethings ready to go clubbing. The second car was a guy filling up his car and some additional containers. The third guy was in line waiting just like me. That second guy put gas in what appeared to be a clear milk carton. The first car was still trying to get their act together and fill up the car by the time I left. The pumping duties fell to a six-foot tall Cher look-alike, who may or may not have been a woman. Bless his/her heart.

• Mom and Dad left Baytown around 5:00 am headed for Ft. Worth. About 4:30 pm this afternoon, they were back in Baytown. After 11 hours of trying to navigate highways and backroads, they decided that it was just not worth the trouble. So, as it turns out, they had loaded up the car with treasured possessions -- and the two cats -- just for a lovely day trip. Total mileage? 104 miles.

• I love to have folks over to my house. One of the spoils of these parties is a refrigerator full of 2-liter bottles of every type of drink you can imagine. (Seriously ... who buys some of that stuff? "Christmas Spice" Pepsi? Sugar-free diet lemonade? Nasty.) Well, the spoils have finally paid off. Rather than paying $19.99 for a pack of Evian at Kroger last night (the only bottled water they had left), I've emptied out eleven 2-liter bottles and filled them up with Houston tap water. I cannot tell you how much this gives me a sense of accomplishment. I was resourceful. I was cost-effective. I provided for myself. But truth be told, I'll probably drink my roommate's Ozarka bottles first. He left town.

Waves of Mercy, Waves of Grace

It's easy to predict the score of the game in the final seconds of the 4th quarter. Therefore, you may not take this very seriously.

However, it occurred to me at some point during the Katrina disaster that maybe -- just maybe -- in God's beautiful way, it was a "wake up call" for something worse to come. That He was enabling us to learn our lessons before we would really need to know them.

And now comes Rita ... targeting a much more populated part of the Gulf Coast.

As I watched a news conference with Mayor White and Judge Eckels this morning, it was apparent that they were building off of lessons learned from Katrina. And as I watched people evacuate and prepare for the storm even before it entered the Gulf of Mexico, it was apparent that we had learned a thing or two.

So, as odd as it may sound, I want to thank God for Katrina and how He has used that disaster -- in His mercy and grace -- to prepare us and to get our attention.

Dealing with Muzak

I ran to the store for a few things today, like I usually do on a lazy Saturday morning. What should have been a 5-10 minute run through Randall's turned into a 30-40 minute stroll. Why?

Because I enjoyed the Muzak.

Now, I'm not sure if it was truly Muzak. That's like calling all facial tissue Kleenex. Muzak is a brand name. But whatever it was they were playing at Randall's this morning, I fell victim to it's coercive intent: to keep me in the store longer.

In a moment of identity crisis and in need of some serious affirmation, I text messaged some friends to ask them if it were bad that I was loitering in Randall's to enjoy the Muzak. Here are their replies:

• "You're so 35." - Dinah Quintero
• "Meander away! Pick me up some eggs!" - Lori Latham
• "I think you should wait until the fourth or fifth date to share your affinity for Muzak." - Catha Duck

Still no word from Todd Richards.

Snapshots from the GRB

Like many of you, I had the opportunity to volunteer my time at the George R. Brown Convention Center serving our "guests" from Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. My first tour of duty was the overnight shift from 10 pm to 4 am on Friday, September 9. (I'm still recovering.) My second tour of duty was the evening shift from 4 pm to 10 pm tonight, Tuesday, September 13. Here are some highlights from what I saw and experienced this time around:

• I had dinner with Craig. He's a native of New Orleans and is here with his 7 year old deaf son ("Little Craig is his name on his birth certificate."), 15 year old daughter (Tia), and 67 year old father-in-law. His "old lady" is in prison at the state penitentiary in Angola, Louisiana. Craig is a house painter by trade, and also mows lawns for extra money. He hasn't found a job here yet, but is expecting to move into an apartment this Friday. When I asked him what he was feeling about all of this now, he said he looked forward to when his "old lady" got out of prison in a few months and joined them in Houston. He said that Katrina will have helped to get his wife away from the "bad people" in her life -- the people who played a role in getting her into prison. Every time Craig talks with her, he can tell that she is changing for the better -- that God is working in her life.
  
  
• Lynel and his nine family members had a misunderstanding with a hotel downtown. They thought they had their rooms for 14 days, but found out today that it was only for 4 days and were kicked out. The GRB is not taking any new guests so they had no place to go. While Lynel enjoyed dinner with another volunteer, I did some investigating to see what I could find for him. A quick stop at the Information Desk produced no less than 8 leads, so I called Lyndale Assembly of God first to check out their availability. While on hold with them, the volunteer eating with Lynel found me and said that his son found a hotel near the airport that was holding 3 rooms for them. The family quickly packed up and left -- before Lynel had even finished his dinner. One more stop on a family's search for normalcy.
  
  
• While we were cleaning up the dining area toward the end of the evening, I was searching for "yellow shirt" volunteers with nothing to do. I found a group of 9 of them sitting around a table. Jackpot! However, when I approached I realized that there was a guest at their table, too, and they were all listening to his story. He was a middle-aged man in a wheelchair with a bandage around his left foot. I do not know what he had to say, but it was great to see those volunteers so engaged in what he had to say. A little while later, after the group broke up, I saw him I told him he should have charged admission. He laughed.
  
  
• As the end of the shift was approaching, we were wondering to whom we would pass the coffee making duties. Somebody had to keep the hot stuff brewing -- especially overnight! Twenty minutes before our shift ended, some new volunteers began to arrive. One was a woman named Jean. Originally from Maryland, she now lives in the U.S. Virgin Islands -- and owns a restaurant! She instantly and willingly became the coffee master! God's provision is amazing, and so is this -- Jean flew to Houston for the sole purpose of volunteering. She had no connections to Houston, no family or friends here. She just wanted to help.

It was a great night and a great shift. And I am proud to say that my team's coffee bar passed inspection by a Health Department inspector dropping by for a surprise visit. Kudos to Rosemary and Bill for putting the half-and-half on ice. I think that put us over the edge.

Missed Opportunity

In Sunday school this week, one of the discussion questions presented to us while studying Romans 1:18-32 was, "Do believers suppress the truth?" Unfortunately, the answer is yes -- in many ways and in many situations. That fact came to mind once again last night while watching "Larry King Live" on CNN.

Larry's guests were the Dalai Lama and Joel Osteen and the topic was the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. One of Larry's first questions was about how a "higher being" would allow something like Katrina to happen to "good people." Keeping in line with his religious beliefs, the Dalai Lama spoke about karma and past events -- as well as climate changes. While I certainly disagree with his viewpoint, it's what I would expect him to say.

I was more disturbed by Joel's remarks:

KING: How do you respond to that same question? The Buddha said it's the natural evolvement of things. What does the pastor say?

OSTEEN: Well, Larry, what I believe from the Christian faith is that, you know, God is [in] control. We don't understand why all these thing happen. I think some of them are just natural disasters and you know, I think that when we come out of this we know that God is right there with us, [that] he's the God to comfort us and, I don't think we can explain this. And you know, David talked in the Psalms that he doesn't try to explain or to understand things that are too great for him. So, we don't try to get bogged down in that, we just try to -- try to remind ourselves that God is a good God and, he's on our side and he's going to bring this through -- bring us through these times of difficulty.

KING: Why not question it? If he's a good God and he's on your side, why did he flood New Orleans, something he could have prevented?

OSTEEN: You know Larry, I don't think there's an answer to all that. I mean you could go and figure out -- and try to figure out why are babies born abnormal and why did this happen, that happen? I don't think you can figure that out, Larry. I mean that's, the Bible says, "God's ways are not our ways, he works in mysterious ways," and so, I don't -- I think that's where a lot of people get hung up. But you know, part of trusting God is having faith in the tough times. And I think that's what we -- that's what we do as Christians right now.

Here's how I wish that interview had gone:

KING: How do you respond to that same question? The Buddha said it's the natural evolvement of things. What does the pastor say?

OSTEEN: Well, Larry, what I believe from the Christian faith is that, you know, we live in a fallen world. The Bible says that nobody will be immune from the bad things in this world. That includes death, disease, heartache, job loss, financial troubles -- and even natural disasters. God never promised a life free from trouble, but He does promise strength, peace and comfort to get through those times of trouble. When we confess our sins to Him, acknowledge that we are in need of a savior, confess that He is the Son of God, and then accept Him as our personal savior and give our life over to Him -- then He is there for us each and every day.

KING: Why not question it? If he's a good God and he's on your side, why did he flood New Orleans, something he could have prevented?

OSTEEN: You know Larry, we do not say that God is on our side; rather, that we are on His side. We acknowledge that He is in control, and that we each have a choice to make -- to accept Him or to deny Him. Could He have prevented the hurricane? Absolutely. Could He have prevented the flood? Of course. But He allows these things to happen, and through them all, He seeks to be glorified. In the aftermath of this storm, many people have come to accept Him as their personal savior -- have come to acknowledge that the only way to His heaven is to accept Him. As a result of the devestation, He has been glorified through the outpouring of love and generosity of the church -- of people being the "hands and feet" of Christ -- and many more people will spend eternity in heaven because their eyes were opened to the truth by what they've seen and experienced.

Is this "Joel bashing" on my part? I would like to think not. It just frustrates me to no end when an opportunity to proclaim the truth is missed -- especially on national TV and practically shoulder-to-shoulder with the lost and confused Dalai Lama. How much more should His truth be proclaimed!

Am I off base here? Am I too critical? I would be interested to know what you think.

Think it through, buddy. Think it through.

In the interest of full disclosure, let me point out that I am a government employee. Now that that's out of the way, let me share my experience with one of my brethren the other day.

I completed an on-line defensive driving course and needed to turn in my paperwork at the Municipal Court on Lubbock near downtown Houston. The court requires three pieces of paper: (1) a certificate of course completion, (2) a state-issued driving record, and (3) a signed and notarized affidavit.

The process of turning in three pieces of paper at a desk in the basement of the Municipal Court building really should not take too long once you get up to the counter, correct? You give the clerk your papers, the clerk verifies the papers, the clerk gives you a receipt, and you leave. Transaction complete. "Next person, please."

But leave it to the clerk to make the process needlessly longer. After each person stepped away from the counter, he reminded everybody in line in a loud, slow, exasperated voice:

"Before you step up to the counter, I need you to have your papers in the following order: First, you need to have your certificate proving that you finished the defensive driving course. Behind that, you need to have your driving record, issued by the state. At the bottom, you need to have your signed and notarized affidavit. Please have all of these papers in that order before it is your turn."

If you are reading this, I want you to perform a simple test for me. Find three pieces of paper and number them 1, 2, and 3. Shuffle the papers, placing them in any random order. Now, while reading the above quote out loud, put the papers in numerical order. Ready? Go.

So tell me ... which task did you finish first? Exactly.

The turnaround time to get the 6 or 8 people through the line was easily doubled by this man's special request ... again, issued out loud as each person approached the counter for their turn. The time "saved" by having the papers in 1-2-3 order (as opposed to a brain-teasing, say, 2-3-1 or 3-1-2 order) was more than lost by the time he took for his speech.

OK ... that's it. I have to stop right now. I am reliving the frustration all over again and can feel the blood pressure rising ... and rising ... and rising. But before I go, let me quote myself from the Summit Ministries message board: "Think it through, people. Think it through."

Every Little Bit Counts

A family of 6 attended my parents' church in Baytown this Sunday (the church in which I grew up). They are evacuees from Louisiana. There's a mom and dad and four children (the oldest is 10 or 11, there are 4 year old twins, and the youngest is about 2).

One member of the church found a rental house for them to stay in, and church members are rallying together to get them the things they need to make it a home. When they were told by the city that they would not be able to get the water turned on until tomorrow, my dad made a phone call. The water was turned on today.

The best part of the story ... the family placed a donation in the offering plate. They gave five dollars.

When The Saints Go Marching In!

Please keep my friend Charlie Loftin in your prayers. Charlie (a member of HFBC and The Shed) is in New Orleans with his army unit. They were activated on Saturday, September 3, to go help with clean up and security. His access to the internet is limited, but here's a portion of a short e-mail that he was able to send:

"It is really crazy. I still can't believe I am still in the U.S. We just got a shipment of 1,000 bodybags."

Also, please keep my friends Donny and Amy McIver in your prayers. Donny and Amy (former members of HFBC) currently live in Dallas. On faith, they have decided to take a 26' rental truck filled with food and supplies to Baton Rouge -- items that they and their family members provided on their own. Donny will be helping to distribute food with Baton Rouge serving as the base of operations.

As Charlie and Donny spend time in Louisiana, please pray for divine appointments -- moments when they can minister to victims, relief workers, fellow soldiers, people they meet along the way. Pray that they would both be lights in such a dark and troubled place! Also, pray for their children and families who they will leave behind here in Texas during their relief work.