Who needs Arizona?

I went to Starbucks tonight and unexpectedly stumbled across one of the greatest natural wonders of the good ol' United States.

Proof that I live in Mayberry

After a long day of back-to-back meetings from 8:30 this morning until 7:30 this evening, I finally pulled out of the parking lot at work and headed home.

On the way, I called one of my comfort food places near my house and placed a "to go" order. (Let's call it Philadexas.) After scarfing down a quick bite at lunchtime, I was hungry and ready to go home and just crash.

Therefore, when I pulled into the restaurant parking lot and realized that I had left my wallet in my desk, I was crushed. Devastated. Annoyed. Frustrated. Famished.

So, do I pull away and go home and leave the restaurant with unclaimed food, or do I go in and tell them to throw it away?

I decided to go inside, secretly hoping to see somebody I know sitting inside who may be willing to spot me the money. No such luck. Not a familiar face in the whole place.

But fortunately, I was a familiar face to the manager. When I explained my situation, he looked at me and handed me my order. "I recognize you. You come in here a lot. You'll just owe me double the next time."

As the people around me at the bar (where you pick up "to go" orders) looked me over, I'm pretty sure that they thought I was pulling a fast one on the guy. I felt compelled to explain to him (for their ears) that I would come by tomorrow and pay for my food. ("Sure he will," I could hear them thinking.)

I promise I will.

Intelligent thoughts?

At dinner with some friends the other night, Susan told us about a guy she's been going out with lately. She willingly shared with us (out loud) that they discussed how to calculate the Dow Jones Industrial Average on one of their first dates.

At that point, Cathy confessed, "Wow! I'm pretty sure the most intelligent thought I've had all day was, 'Man, I wish I were black!'"


Footnotes:
(1) All names have been changed to protect the guilty.
(2) Cathy had just seen Dreamgirls.
(3) Actually, Susan and Cathy had this conversation weeks earlier and were simply reenacting it for us the other night.

Always check the "To:" line

Here's an e-mail I accidentally received from a potential vendor. It was sent to me and his co-workers:

"Will your Mother mind you working for the Baptists? Be sure and take Jill to the meeting with you and remind her to put the St. Christopher on her dash."

Honestly, I thought it was funny. Here's my reply:

"Looks like I received this e-mail by accident. If I need to call somebody’s mother and reassure them that we Baptists are nice people, I would be glad to do so! =) I’m looking forward to meeting with you and the other reps from XYZ! Let us know when that meeting can take place."

And here's his reply to that:

"I should explain that all of my family for generations have been Baptists (with a few Methodists on my father's side thrown in) and that Jack and Jill are our good neighbor Catholics. I have a feeling that I am about to lose my email privileges, sorry for the confusion! Bob Smith, who left you a message, comes from a long line of Alabama Baptists! We've worked with a number of congregations over the years, Presbyterian, Baptist, Lutheran, Episcopal etc.; and look forward to the opportunity to support you and your folks any way we can."

(For the record, all names have been changed and all misspellings have been corrected. Even though they weren't mine, I can't stand to post them on my blog.)

Bridge to Rwanda

Linda Huang, from HFBC, is headed to Rwanda in May 2007 to work as a full-time missionary with World Relief to Rwanda. She will help start up an international Christian school based on American educational curriculum and work as a World Relief worker teaching English communications to local NGO relief workers.

Linda has launched a blog to help support her ministry and to educate people about the great needs in Rwanda -- and how to pray for her and the nation, as well: Bridge to Rwanda.

Please pray for Linda as she prepares to leave home and step out in faith as God leads her. And if you see her at church, be sure to give her an encouraging word!

(Looks like I might finally get my Africa hit on my cluster map!)

Another weird thing

I thought of another one:

(7) Paper towels. They have to be solid white. No patterns. No exceptions. Currently, I'm living with a roll that tells me that "A mother is the truest friend we have" and that "Mothers nurture the flowers in the garden of life." (What?) I'm hoping this roll was left over from a party. Otherwise, I have to come to grips with the fact that my roommate may have bought them. (Please, Lord. No!)

At Kroger this week, I went to grab some rolls of Brawny off the shelf. (My subconscience tends to overcompensate for my disgust for towels with flowers, fruit, or chickens on them by seeking out the most "masculine" of all paper towels -- the ones with a burly lumberjack on the package.) Unfortunately, all they had was the Biosphere III "starter kit" package with about 36 rolls. It was the size of my coffee table. So, I looked for another brand that could offer me some plain white towels.

Thank you, Bounty!

At least I didn't milk the cow

This is one of those posts that allows me to publicly laugh at myself, as well as enables me to warn others before they make the same mistake.

I made a Key lime pie the other night. The recipe said to use a 2/3 cup of juice from real Key limes (and not just regular limes) if possible. I guess the way that was worded led me to believe that the juice had to come directly from Key limes -- with no middle man in the process.

So, I bought a sack of Key limes -- 22 of them in all -- and proceeded to cut and squeeze all of them. All 44 halves. They are a little smaller than a Ping Pong ball, if you didn't know. And without a juicing device in my kitchen, my fingers got a workout. I used a cheese grater to strain out the seeds and pulp. (Today, I remembered that I actually have a strainer for such situation.)

The recipe also called for condensed milk. No, I did not try to press or squeeze actual milk into a smaller container.

It's your turn, Africa

Well, I heard from Antarctica but it won't show up on my cluster map:

Hi Steven,

I'm afraid that won't work - all our networking is transferred via our headquarters in Cambridge, UK, so any user who visits your website will appear to be from the UK, not Antarctica.

Sorry about that!
Simon

So, like I thought, it won't show up on my map. But at least I made contact! Maybe Simon and his chums will be dropping by from time to time.

Hello ... Africa? Antarctica?

Africa? Antarctica? Are you out there? On my cluster map (over there in the right margin), you are yet to be represented.

I'm guessing my odds are slim for the ice continent since I doubt many ISPs are actually based there. Nonetheless, I just sent an e-mail to a British research station there asking them to stop by and visit in their free time. We'll see.

But Africa surprises me a little. The lack of visitors from there can't be from a lack of people. The place is enormous! I guess I need better PR.

So, if you have friends in Africa or Antarctica, ask 'em to stop by. You know where to find me.

Six Weird Things About Me

I detest those chain e-mails where you have to answer about 37 questions about yourself and copy just as many people with your answers. I'm pretty sure there aren't that many people who need to know (or care to know) my favorite ice cream flavor or the last book I read. And we all know how indescribably annoying uncalled-for "reply to all" e-mails can be, right? Exactly.

So, I am pleased to find a new take on this pesty e-mail concept. My friend Dovie has introduced me to it. Here's how it goes:

If you get tagged, write a blog post telling 6 weird things about yourself and clearly stating the rules. After you state your 6 weird things, choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you're tagged" in their comments on their respective blogs and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it all means.

OK ... here's my weirdness:

(1) Upside down faces. I cannot look at them in person. For example, if I'm sitting in a chair at a party and somebody is lying on the floor next to me, I cannot look down at them if their face would be upside down from my angle. Something about the eyelids blinking the wrong direction or other weird muscle movements that just gives me the heebie jeebies.

(2) Catfish. After 36+ years of living in Texas, I still have never eaten catfish. Ever. Not once. Not even a taste to prove that I do not like it. As a kid, I was convinced that I would not like it. Now, I consider it a "streak" that I just don't want to break.

(3) Celebrate! At some point in my life, I realized that "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang is just too good of a song to pass up. For years, one of my "rules" has been to always listen to the song if I ever come across it when flipping stations on the radio. My iPod allows me to listen to it on demand, but coming across it serendipitously is even better.

(4) Mouth noises. Can't stand 'em. I'm not referring to when people talk. I'm referring to non-talking noises: gum-smacking, chip-chewing, popcorn-crunching, etc. Basically, when food is involved, the mouth should never be open except to put the food in the mouth. The teeth should not close down on the food until the lips are closed (so as to block the sound). This includes the initial "chomp" on the chip, popcorn, or whatever. I've been known to actually leave a movie theater because of all the incessant mouth noises around me. It raises my blood pressure and I simply cannot tolerate it.

(5) Origami. If there is paper in my hands, it will be folded. Movie ticket stubs, Post-It notes, receipts, theater programs -- any paper products. I'm pretty sure it's not a nervous habit if for no other reason than it happens all the time and I'm not that nervous about stuff.

(6) Editing. Even before I had my current job, I've been editing the world around me. Without even looking for them, I find misspellings, unaligned margins, grammatical errors, inconsistent formatting and other such tragedies on restaurant menus, wedding programs, and more. In junior high school, I found a misspelling in Time magazine and thought I had won the lottery. I actually daydreamed about possibly being on "The Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson as "the kid who taught Time a lesson" or something like that. Didn't happen.


Now, I tag David, Lori, Arshunda, Beth, Leslie and Laura.

SERENITY NOW!

A close friend of mine has often commented on my loyalty. I take that as a great compliment.

Therefore, it's difficult for me to confess how thoroughly disgusted I am with Gov. Rick Perry -- a man I have voted for every time he's been on the ballot.

His latest move using an Executive Order to call for the vaccination of 6th grade girls throughout Texas against the human papillomavirus is just about the last straw. In fact, even if this were the first straw from him (and it's not), it would be the last straw for me.

I won't use up valuable blog space to go into all the details of why this is wrong. You'll have no problem finding plenty of websites and online articles that go into that -- from conservative and liberal sources alike. But let me at least point out the following:

• The Governor has not answered the basic question as to why, in spite of other health issues that pose greater risks to more people, he chose to circumvent the legislative process of review and hearings and issued an Executive Order instead.
• In regards to the supposed need of urgency regarding this health issue, according to one state representative if they passed legislation it could take effect in June 2007 as compared with the effective date of the Executive Order, which is September 2008.
• The relatively small numbers of cervical cancer cases referenced (1,169 new incidents per year in Texas) are NOT entirely caused by HPV, as documented clearly by the Centers for Disease Control.
• Finally, check this out:
  
  "Merck is bankrolling efforts to pass state laws across the country mandating Gardasil for girls as young as 11 or 12. It doubled its lobbying budget in Texas and has funneled money through Women in Government, an advocacy group made up of female state legislators around the country.
  
  "Perry has several ties to Merck and Women in Government. One of the drug company's three lobbyists in Texas is Mike Toomey, Perry's former chief of staff. His current chief of staff's mother-in-law, Texas Republican state Rep. Dianne White Delisi, is a state director for Women in Government." (USA Today, February 2, 2007)

Tell me this ... can I form a picket line or start a petition and STILL be called a conservative Republican?

Murray Action Figure

I recently learned that one of The Wiggles is named Murray. And yes, there is an action figure of him.

(They call it a doll, but I'm calling it an action figure. Go with me on this one. Please.)

If you want a Murray action figure of your own, click here. Apparently they are in high demand and very hard to find!

And for the record, it does not appear to be anatomically correct. Just look at his freakishly large hands -- and short hair!

On this day ...

On this day:

1895 - George Herman (Babe) Ruth was born in Baltimore, Maryland
1911 - Ronald Wilson Reagan was born in Tampico, Illinois
2006 - Marjorie Ellen (Marge) Caldwell went home to be with Jesus
2006 - Steven William Murray joined the staff of Houston's First Baptist Church

How To Have Fun On A Ski Trip Without Skiing

I just got back from the 2007 Summit Snow Jam. Who says you have to ski to have fun on a ski trip? Here's proof that you don't:

1. Fly down a mountain at 50 mph. We were safely buckled in, of course, but it was still a rush to soar over the tree tops. Amanda insists that she won, but the guy at the end of the zip line says it was a tie. You decide.
2. Discover a new subculture. The Iditarod takes place against a scenic Alaskan backdrop. The International Pedigree Stage Stop Sled Dog Race Finals begins in Parking Lot G of Prospector Park. And the dogs aren't quite as photogenic, either.
3. Blaze a trail at 10,000 feet. With plenty of horsepower at our fingertips and wide expanses of untouched snow, we forged trails in the mountains overlooking Park City. Al Roker did it, too, based on the framed pictures in the office.
4. Laugh until it hurts. Take five friends, give them each a big ol' tube, throw in some gravity and ice, then sit back and laugh ... and laugh again. Add in a guy in a pink boa and a push in the wrong direction, and laugh some more!
5. Get stoned. In keeping with my namesake, I decided to let myself be stoned. But since my name is spelled differently than Stephen's, so was my so-called stoning. They were heated to a comfortable 130 degrees, they didn't hurt, and the price wasn't as high.
6. Visit a Flying Sumo. Nothing says Utah better than sushi, right? (OK, maybe Mormons does a better job.) Regardless, we discovered a great sushi place in historic downtown Park City -- the Flying Sumo. You can imagine their logo.
7. Take gallery-worthy photographs. Actually, we "took in" some great photographs when we viewed them in galleries along Main Street. Amanda actually took one home with her. Some of my favorites were this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. My absolute favorite is this one.