A Damsel in Distress and a Dude in a Dilemma

Sunday was Amanda's week to volunteer in Extended Teaching Care at church during the morning services. She loves the opportunity to hold the newborn babies. If I were her, I would love the fact that volunteers are not permitted to change the diapers. That is a paid worker's duty (no pun intended). But I digress ...

So, we decided that I would go to morning church, too, and we planned for her to pick me up just before 9:00 am since I'm on her way to HFBC.

Well, just before 9:00 am Amanda called me. I assumed she was going to tell me she was on her way. Instead, she told me she was stranded in Memorial Park with a flat tire.

This is the part of the story where those of you who know me well are probably thinking to yourself, "Oh no! What's he going to do?" Or, perhaps you thought, "Oh no! Why did Amanda call Steven?"

From my perspective, this is the part of the story where I am suddenly torn between all of the societal pressures to be "that guy" -- the superhero boyfriend who can do it all -- and reality.

Since I was dressed and ready to go, I told her I would be there in a minute. I rounded up my Bible and all the things that would go in a man-bag if they were socially acceptable (phone, keys, sunglasses, iPod, wallet, loose change). All the while, I'm thinking of solutions to the problem. (The tire problem -- not the man-bag problem. Besides, there was a story on the TODAY show that morning about man-bags, so I had some options in mind for that dilemma.)

On the short drive to reach Amanda, I called Option #1 - Memorial Car Care Center at Memorial and 610. Nope -- closed on Sundays.

When I reached the damsel in distress, she was all smiles (as usual) and we couldn't help but laugh at the situation -- not only for the timing of it all, but for what I think we both knew would somehow turn in to a great story.

As we sat in the air-conditioned luxury of my car and watched sweaty people running by, I explained how this was all going to go down:

Yes, I can change the tire. I know how to do that. (In my mind, however, I wondered if foreign cars were any different or more difficult. If that were the case, we were hosed.) However, we are both pretty and ready for church. If I were to change the tire, I would have to go home, shower, and change clothes. That would make us miss the worship service.

Being the wonderful woman she is, she totally understood -- and agreed.

So, we tried Option #2 -- the Shell station across from the Memorial Car Care Center. Nope -- we would have to have it towed to them to change it. That's retarded.

Then Amanda came up with the winning solution -- an ingenious idea that cost nothing (except for a nice dinner and a few hits to my pride). We called David Hilburn.

I dialed his number on my phone and then quickly gave it to her, thinking he would be more responsive to a damsel in distress than a dude. As the phone rang, we realized that my name would come up on his caller ID -- so we hoped he wouldn't notice. Turns out, he wasn't too far away and he said he would gladly come and help her.

Since Amanda did not reveal that I was already on the scene -- and since he did not ask about the caller ID -- Hilburn was surprised to see me when he got there. His first thought was that he would be off the hook since I was there to help.

Wrong.

After some ridicule and threats to blog about it all, Hilburn got to work. Keep in mind that I did help some -- taking the spare and the tools out of the trunk, giving verbal support from the sidelines, and telling Amanda that it's probably not a good idea to lean on a car that is up on a jack. All very valuable contributions, if you ask me.

With the spare "doughnut" in place, we were ready to go.

As Hilburn drove away, he showed me his laptop and said, "All I have to do is find a place with WiFi and I'm posting about this!" You can read his version of the story here.

In "Roles Of A Man" taught by Don Munton (Minister to Single Adults), we learn that a man's role is to provide, protect, teach and guide. I would like to think that I did just that, even if I didn't get dirty. When it was all said and done, Amanda had four tires, she made it to the worship service on time, and she was still pretty -- and so was her boyfriend.

What more could a woman want? (Can I get an "AMEN!" Please?)

A few pics from the road

A couple of items from our trip to Colorado:

A bag of chips I had for lunch had an expiration date of 9/11. "What's the big deal?" you ask? If you don't know, then you don't know my life. Here's some background: August 9, August 12, August 16.



Here's an example of horrible layout and design from a restaurant menu:

Since it's hard to read, let me type it out for you:

Great Kids Menu

• Beer, Wine & Select Premium Spirits
• Try our homemade specialty drinks like the Dogwood Tea, Cactus Pear Margarita and our famous Hurricane!

I don't think that's what they had in mind.

Besides, we were in Colorado ... not Louisiana.

A tempting offer

A representative from a local radio station presented a proposal to me today for a potential radio ad campaign for HFBC. It was a follow-up to a previous meeting weeks ago.

At the end of the presentation, she shared an additional incentive with me.

She spoke with her general sales manager and he agreed that if we sign on with them, they would never again play "Happy Birthday, Jesus" on the air. And, even though they could not offer the same with the Christmas shoes song due to its inexplicable popularity, he did agree not to play the song anywhere near one of our radio spots.

This over may be too good to pass up!

"Say 'Cheese!'" ... or ... "Um, where does the cheese go?"

Today, a digital camera I ordered for work arrived from Amazon. Inside the box was the invoice, packaging materials ... and a coupon for 55 cents off one (1) package of Hormel Natural Choice Deli Meat.

The coupon also includes a recipe for a bagelwich. Here are the directions:

"To assemble bagelwich, layer bottom half of bagel with lettuce leaf, cheese slices, tomato slices, bell pepper rings, ham slices, and alfalfa sprouts. Cover with top half of bagel."

If somebody needs directions to make a sandwich, I would like to see him trying to figure out using a digital camera for the first time.

The coupon also made me wonder -- why in the world was there a coupon for deli meat with a digital camera? Does market research indicate that people who buy digital cameras are also deli meat consumers? On Amazon.com, they do a great job recommending items to buy based on previous searches and purchases.

But for the record, I have never searched for meat online. Not once.

What a wonder-full world!

The validity of the poll may leave some room for doubt, but here are the "New Seven Wonders Of The World" as determined by an international audience:

• The Great Wall of China
• Rome's Colosseum
• India's Taj Mahal
• Jordan's Petra
• Peru's Machu Picchu
• Brazil's Statue of Christ Redeemer (sweet!)
• Mexico's Chichen Itza pyramid

(You'll notice that these are all man-made "wonders" of our world. The website linked above reveals that another poll is underway to determine the seven natural wonders. I'm pullin' for you, Buffalo Bayou!)

So, here's my question:

• If you had to round out the "New Ten Wonders Of The World" with three additional man-made marvels, what would they be? Feel free to submit more than three.

Move over, Billy Ray Cyrus!

A Rolling Stone reader poll has determined the 20 most annoying songs ever:

1. Black Eyed Peas, My Humps
2. Los Del Rio, Macarena
3. Baha Men, Who Let The Dogs Out
4. Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On
5. Nickelback, Photograph
6. Lou Bega, Mambo No. 5
7. James Blunt, You're Beautiful
8. Spice Girls, Wannabe
9. Sisqo, The Thong Song
10. Cher, Believe
11. Aqua, Barbie Girl
12. Chumbawumba, Tub Thumper
13. Rednex, Cotton-Eyed Joe
14. Eiffel 65, Blue
15. Crash Test Dummies, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
16. Meatloaf, I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
17. 'NSYNC, Bye, Bye, Bye
18. Ricky Martin, Livin' La Vida Loca
19. Semisonic, Closing Time
20. Wham!, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Here are my questions for you:

(1) What 5 songs should round out the Top 25?

(2) Which of the above 20 songs are on your iPod?

Where's a red pen (or chisel) when I need one?

Just a few random observations from the past week ...

(1) This is from one of my frequent lunch spots. The misspellings abound there, as evidenced by this sample from their whiteboard menu. Not pictured here is another offer for "free" chips and queso with a certain purchase. Why the word "free" is in quotes makes me suspicious. What's the hidden cost?



(2) One of my all-time favorite spots in Galveston is La King's Confectionery on the Strand. Sadly, I will never be able to wear one of their t-shirts. If you ever want to visit, please keep in mind that they are on Galveston Island, Texas ... not Galveston, Island Texas.

(3) I don't have a picture of this one, but I also noticed a punctuation error on a tombstone at the beautiful Glenwood Cemetery on Washington Avenue. There was a granite stone with the family name in the middle of a small section of land, surrounded by grave markers of the individual family members. I won't use their real name, so let's just say it was the Smith family. That center marker -- announcing to the world who was buried there -- said Smith's. Shouldn't it read just Smith, or Smiths, or -- if the Smith family wanted to let others know that the land indeed belonged to them -- Smiths'? A punctuation error on an engraved granite tombstone. Wow.

BibleMap

Check out BibleMap. It's pretty cool.

That's all.