Nights Of The Long Table

Why is it that large groups always insist on sitting at one long table at restaurants?

(I would ask why do large groups of Christians always insist upon it, but I'm not sure that it's just us. Since I'm rarely in large groups of non-believers, I cannot really attest to their seating preferences.)

Think this through with me:

• Sitting at one long table doesn't enable you to speak to every person at the table. Sound does not travel any faster or better through contiguous tables. I still cannot hear the person sitting twelve people away from me.
• When putting tables together, you lose seats. Two tables of four make one table for six -- unless you have people who like sitting on the crack, and who likes that?
• Sitting at one long table is risky business for people who like to talk. We've all been there. You sit in the middle thinking you've cased out the best seat, with access to everyone, only to find yourself in no-man's-land between conversations at either end of the table.
• Many Sunday Bible studies in the singles department have "dinner for 6" events so people in the class can get to know people in a more intimate setting. Why not make every lunch or dinner with the class just as intimate and simply sit at the tables and booths as you find them?

(Ironically, after softball tonight, I went to dinner with The Shed (my former class). I was the first one to get there and grabbed a long picnic table that would seat about 20 people. Knowing how peeps would want a long table, I figured I would grab one already in place. That way, only three tables had to be moved for the rest of the group. Nice compromise.)

Perhaps the greatest concern of mine is the impact on the restaurant workers. At the risk of sounding holier-than-thou, it troubles me to see large groups rearrange a restaurant and then leave it how they left it -- not how they found out.

Think about it. Everybody in the group chips in to move the tables and chairs (since it ain't always easy work). But then the same amount of work is often left to one underpaid busboy (or girl) to put it all back in place. That's not cool, and for a church group, that's not a good witness.

So, why the desire to be shoulder-to-shoulder with 20 people? My best guesses:

• People believe that proximity demonstrates their unity. Or perhaps, that their unity will increase due to their proximity.
• People fear being stuck at a table of 4 with people they do not know -- or with people they know but with whom they do not care to talk. There is safety in numbers.

(Am I anywhere close to being right?)

My friends have known for years that this is a pet peeve of mine -- an annoyance that I just cannot shake. I feel like this is a one-man crusade against nights of the long tables (or afternoons if you go to morning church).

If you and I are ever in a large group together and we go to lunch or dinner, come join me in my booth or at my table for four. I look forward to getting to know you!