Rejected by Trick-or-Treaters

In the 8 years that I've lived in my house, I'm pretty sure I've never had trick-or-treaters. I was either at HFBC's Fall Festival each year, or kids just simply didn't show up. Living inside the loop in a transitional area filled with townhomes and crack houses, there aren't many young families in the 'hood.

So last night, when I heard footsteps and giggling voices coming up the stairs, I knew I was in trouble. Trick-or-treaters were approaching and I had nothing to give them. Nothing. Not expecting to have any visitors, I didn't buy any candy.

This was not going to end well.

Keep in mind that my accountability group was meeting at my place. Dave, Todd and I were talking when we heard the kids approaching. (Lincoln is on his honeymoon.) Also, keep in mind that my front door is 2/3 glass with a direct view into the living room where the three of us were sitting. The kids spotted us before we could hide.

Again, this was not going to end well.

DING-DONG!

"Trick or treat! Hey, I see people in there!"

I got up and ran to the kitchen in hopes of finding something that I could give them. My mind was working overtime, trying to rationalize each thing I saw as being a worthy treat for the kids.

Trail mix? No, it's not individually packaged. I can't give the kids a bunch of loose raisins and nuts.

Pretzel sticks? No, they're not individually packaged either. Plus, they're the whole-wheat kind. What kid wants health food?

Plastic cups? Maybe they could make something fun out of it. Add some string and you have an old tyme phone system. No, this isn't Little House on the Prairie.

As my frantic search continued, Todd and Dave did their part. Todd answered the door and spoke with Darth Vader and his Power Ranger friend. Their princess friend was still working her way up the stairs, trying not to trip over the dress and not to let go of her wand. Little did she know ... all that work for nothing.

Meanwhile, Dave hid from sight from the kids but shouted out ideas to me in the kitchen.

"Give 'em the Doritos!" he suggested, referring to an unopened extra-large bag of Doritos left over from a party a few weeks ago.

By this time, the Power Ranger had actually come into my house about three feet and had a look on his face that seemed to say, "Really, mister? You got nothin' for us?"

Oh, but I did have something! Nacho cheese Doritos in a bag bigger than the kid's torso!

When I offered the Doritos to the kids, they actually shook their heads no. I was rejected by a group of American kids -- kids who are known world-wide for their ability to scarf down their weight in junk food on a daily basis. Unbelievable.

So off they went, empty-handed on Halloween. I stepped outside and apologized to the adults waiting for the kids down on the street. (The princess was still working her way up the stairs.) The adults laughed and told me not to worry about it, but I did feel badly.

Next year I'll be prepared.