"Oh, say, can you sing this?"

Here's the national anthem of Cuba. Oh, the irony.

"La Bayamesa" (The Bayamo Song)
Hasten to battle, men of Bayamo,
For the homeland looks proudly to you.
You do not fear a glorious death,
Because to die for the country is to live.

To live in chains
Is to live in dishonour and ignominy.
Hear the clarion call,
Hasten, braves ones, to battle!

"Da Vinci" - Code Blue!

I am encouraged by the initial reviews of Tom and Opie's new project.

My happiness is not based on the critics' disapproval (since bad reviews won't stop people from seeing it). Rather, it's based on the fact that such an apparently "bad" film will undermine the credibility of the premise. As co-workers gather around the breakroom, as friends hang out over coffee, as unchurched folks chat on message boards, perhaps they will focus on the film as a poor piece of work -- and not the fabricated "merits" of the story.

In this case, maybe seeing is not believing!

Another Proud Uncle Moment

Kyle and Kristin were recognized as the outstanding boy and girl in their school in terms of being all-around good citizens, sportsmen and students.

They also received the Presidential Physical Fitness Award -- for the 5th year in a row, by the way. This year they were two of only seven kids in their school to receive it.

Like uncle, like niece and nephew! (Go ahead and say it -- "Except for the physical fitness part.")

And, unlike me, Kyle did not appreciate all the "hoopla" about it.

"Thanks, but you're a little too, um, 'experienced' for this job."

"Have you ever been discriminated against because of your age when you've tried to get a job?"

That's the opening line a kid used on me in the Main Foyer of the church on Sunday as I was working at a table selling Colossians-related materials.

Call me paranoid, but the first thought I had (and it was one that developed in a fraction of a second) was that this kid must be doing research for a school assignment. And (as the paranoid thought continued) he must look at me and see a senior citizen -- somebody with enough years behind him to be a victim of age discrimination.

Seeking peace of mind and wanting very badly to not dislike the kid, I asked him why he was asking me. Did he think I was young or old? "Young," he said with a what-else-would-I-be-thinking expression on his face. What a relief. Now, I was on his side.

Once we established my youth, I asked how hold he was. Eight. We continued our ad hoc interview there amidst the crowded Main Foyer. I explained that finding odd jobs around the neighborhood was easy to do as a kid -- mowing yards, washing cars. However, when looking for a "real" job, you had to be 16 years old.

He put one elbow up on the table, rested he head in his hand, let out a sigh, rolled his eyes, and vented, "I know ... child labor laws."

Around this point, a woman stepped out of a nearby huddle to grab his arm and drag him back into their group. Not sure why he came to talk to me, or if I helped him in any way. I wish I had a chance to tell him, "Kid, slow down. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts. Put off working as long as you can. I'm young (as we've established) and I'm already looking forward to retirement when I can hire the neighborhood eight-year old kid to mow my yard and wash my car."

Our Lady Of Chicago?

Here's an interesting (or disturbing?) article on Oprah.

Now, I'm not on the "Oprah-is-evil" bandwagon like some folks, but I do agree that far too many value her words and her "teaching" above those that we Christians know to be true and eternal. Should we point our fingers and cast our blame at her or at her followers for their creepy devotion?

Here's a quote to grab your attention:

"I've said to a number of people - she's today's Billy Graham."

Bored In Baytown

Thanks to Dustin for pointing this out to me: Bored In Baytown (Be sure to check out the Flash site once you get there.)

Unfortunately, it's about 20 years too late. I could have used this back in the day. While Baytown was a great place to grow up (and still is), hanging out at San Jacinto Mall gets old after the first few years.

I am shaving my head

My next CD purchase will be Chris Daughtry's smash hit debut album. I'm not sure when it will be released, but you know it will be. And you know you'll be in line right behind me to buy it or download it on iTunes.

Last night reminded me of when Ghost was nominated for Best Picture by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. It left me bitter, jaded and reluctant to watch the show anymore. How could anybody put Ghost up against Goodfellas and Dances With Wolves (which won, by the way)? On top of that, how could anybody nominate Ghost over Avalon? That astounding lack in judgment was almost as bad as American Idol voters saying that Taylor, Katharine and Elliott were better than Chris.

What can explain this? How can I find an acceptable, plausible explanation that will free me from the cognitive dissonance that has plagued me for the past 16 hours? It just ain't right.

In the meantime, I am shaving my head to show my support for Chris. That's right. Bald as an eagle. Bald as cue ball. I always thought that I would shave my locks if a friend of mine were ever stricken with cancer, but perhaps this is my calling, instead. I'll do it for Chris.

(Oh, wait. Never mind. It's just a TV show.)

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#7)

The church staff met off-site at the Westin Galleria the last day and a half. We ended around noon today. Catha and I were standing in the Galleria afterwards wondering if we should take advantage of being there before returning to work.

"Let's go to the Gap," she said. So we did -- just a couple of white people going to the Gap.

What book are THEY reading?

On Sunday, there will be a bulletin insert about the library here at HFBC.

Since most people do not know there is a lower level (where over 60% of the books are located), I included a picture of what it looks like downstairs. The picture is of a grouping of sofas, with a single man sitting on one and a man and woman sitting on the other.

While proofreading the insert -- and making a last-minute change that I almost didn't bother with -- I discovered a typo in the picture's caption: Lover level of the library

Oh, the calamity and hilarity that would have ensued if that had been distributed on Sunday!

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#6)

At the Cuba mission trip meeting tonight, we talked about what we can and cannot bring with us. Oddly enough, beef jerky is not allowed. Castro controls all the beef in the country.

Catha pointed out that, if he wanted to, Castro could wake up one day and announce that everyone is prohibited from eating chicken.

She added, "No chicken for you! One year!"

Where's Waldo?

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#5)

Actually, this is from yesterday ...

While teaching in The Real Deal, I asked how Jesus' miracles would have been perceived by others if He had done them outside of God's will. David Hilburn noted that "it would have been like Marlee Matlin reading lips from across the room" -- nothing more than a parlor trick to amuse and astound the onlookers.

(Granted, Hilburn is a Seinfeld fan and he reads my blog. So, some may consider this to be a "planted" daily Seinfeld moment. But, I had nothing to do with it, so it counts to me.)

"Men of Feagan" Calendar

Here's a sneak preview of the Men of Feagan calendar. Look for it in major bookstores and other national retailers later this year -- and the Garden Bookstore, too.

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#4)

Actually, this is from yesterday ...

At Mike and Brandi's wedding, Taylor Tran asked about my tuxedo shirt. She was trying to tell if it were white or off-white. Then she asked what kind of fabric it was. Needing physical proof that it was not silk, she reached over and felt the fabric of my sleeve between her thumb and index finger. And Joel followed suit.

Jekyll and Hyde

The many dance faces of Joel Bain ...

Notice that he smiles only when facing Taylor. Adorable.

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#3)

At Mike and Brandi's rehearsal dinner tonight, her 18 year old nephew was sitting at my table. He began running his finger around the rim of his water glass creating a loud ringing sound. Several other people at the table joined him, with Stan having two or three glasses going, each with a different pitch.

I finally gave in and started with my own glass. It was quickly evident that, like most everything else that I do or say, mine was the loudest. Significantly so. Todd said that I had the Kavorka.

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#2)

My former co-worker sent me pictures of her little girl. She is breathtaking!

Today's Seinfeld Moment (#1)

My colleague and I took our respective administrative professionals to lunch today in honor of Administrative Professionals' Day. For an appetizer, I had the lobster bisque.

My Inner-Grumpy

For the record, my inner-Grumpy wrote the post about large groups and long tables. He sure can be a jerk, huh? If I had written it, it would have sounded much nicer and much less condescending.

What my inner-Grumpy failed to recognize are the well-meaning, good intentions of those who live in the "one large table" camp. In my opinion, his comments sounded a bit too -- dare I say -- judgmental. Don't worry. I'll have a talk with him and point out the errors of his ways.

While my inner-Grumpy and I may share the same frustration with one large table, you will not find him at my table for four -- so please do not hesitate to join me!

A Different Kind Of News

Long story short ... I'm going to Cuba.

Long story a little less short ... somebody had to back out of the trip with Summit Ministries at HFBC. Another person had to fill the spot by today in order to get the new person's name on the ticket (or something like that). I was available ... yada yada yada ... I'm going to Cuba.

In 1989, I went on a tour of Europe, including a few days in Moscow. It was the summer before the Wall came down, so the Soviets were still calling the shots. Knowing that we would be meeting with college students during our trip, I packed various magazines with Reagan or Gorbachev on the cover. Or were they winning lottery tickets? Or long-lost relatives? Whatever they were, the students responded with exuberant shouts and joyful tears. I will never forget that encounter -- if not for their appreciation, then for the poorly lit discotheque in which it took place.

So back I go to a communist nation. Not sure yet what the rules are about items we can or cannot bring in to Fidel's island. (I'm only familiar with what we cannot bring out!) However, this time I'll be bringing a different type of news -- the good news!